My brothers Ken and Stephan and I are the proud children of Lilo Hess Bieber. Uncle Frank’s dad, Jacob, and our Mom’s father, Ludwig Hess, were brothers. I share this with you because additionally, our parents of blessed memory were both only children.
To our mom, Uncle Frank was her most immediate family, much like a brother. And for my brothers and me, in the absence of biological aunts and uncles, Uncle Frank was and always will remain the most cherished uncle in our lives. In case you don’t believe me, you need to know that he used to sign our birthday cards with the post-script of :
HIM-BIM, CHOO-CHOO
(the cat and dog- he treated like real people)
BERI
and
UNCLE FRANK -“your favorite uncle.”
From the time I was a little girl, Uncle Frank loved a good party and as many of you recall he used every possible occasion to celebrate a milestone birthday, an anniversary, anything to mark a special time in his life and ours. Most parties would include a required performance and perform we did for his beloved mom, our Tante Mimi, Beri and others, in song, in poetry in expected and delightful prose.
I now realize looking back, he most likely wanted to mark any major life cycle, given what he lost and missed as a child and wanted to acknowledge life cycles consistently and positively with family and friends in his cherished America.
In our childhood and adult lives however, there was nothing more sacred and appreciated than celebrating: Thanksgiving in Philadelphia with the Harris’. As my brothers and husband reminded me, Uncle Frank’s culinary expertise was always on full display. In fact, so much so, that he didn’t let anyone ever get near the Thanksgiving turkey to co-carve it with him, as meticulously as he did. Truth be told, no one in our extended family can or ever will carve a turkey as perfectly as he did. No offense to my extended family.
Uncle Frank brought life and energy to those cherished Thanksgiving weekends. A favorite memory included his announcement one year, that he read, when blindfolded you couldn’t taste and identify the difference between Coke and Pepsi. Incredulous, of course, this required intensive experimental trials, and while I don’t remember the specific statistical family holiday table results, clearly here I am telling you this story as a reflection of the joyful childhood connections he was able to make with us, our next generation- Bieber/Kaplan children, and the extraordinary ways we will all remember his most unique place in our lives.
As many of you know, Uncle Frank’s amazingly strong Bavarian spirit carried him through his difficult health challenges this year, that honestly most would not have endured. Consistently when talking to Bobby, everyone’s reaction was the same: his resilience though not surprising was beyond expectation. Upon reflection, it occurred to me and others, given the gift of a very intact mind and failing physical health, it was hard to imagine him not being anything else but resilient, given the life he had led and the example he set for all of us his entire life.
In my lighter moments, I also wondered if he couldn’t imagine not being here for the next big life cycle celebration – with all of us. As you well know his 95th birthday was just around the corner. Ironically just this week on a new TV show called, “This Is Us”, the father in the show is regretfully forced to say goodbye to his son due to his failing health, no doubt Bobby, much like you had to do so painfully this week.
In one of the closing scenes the ailing father says to his son: “Though my life was imperfect, the best things of my life were that you were there at the beginning and now you are here at the end.” I know your dad felt that way about you too, Bobby and for that we are all beyond grateful.
We might also argue that for many of us Frank too, was always there for us at the beginning and at the end as well, in a thoughtful call, with a specifically chosen card, a warm smile, a generous remembrance, a legacy newsletter, or showing up at a time of loss or at a significant life cycle event in our lives.
As we all try to go on, in an unimaginable world without Uncle Frank’s physical presence, I know for all of you, like the Bieber-Kaplan Family, he will always be here: in a sweet word we say, a good deed we do , a beautiful story we share, and I hope what he probably would like the most in our collective ongoing, compassionate actions toward others, much like his newsletters, which traveled and touched people’s lives, like he and Beri did so consistently and devotedly all around the world.
Amen.
Frank A. Harris 